behind

I'm behind on this thing. I just got back from a lovely weekend in Los Angeles. I was able to spend a good deal of time outside, which I think I really needed and need a lot more in the future. Too bad that isn't happening here. This weekend was good for many reasons, and it reaffirmed my need to leave here, to be outside. I need it.

I can't believe that I missed the opportunity to complain in this thing about the fact that on Friday, when I woke up to walk Lola, the actual temperature, not the windchill, was -17. Negative fucking seventeen. I waited for the bus for over 20 minutes in this temperature. It was terrible.

It's not as bad today, in the 20s but it's been in the 80s in L.A. I miss riding my bike.

I miss not feeling like I can see my breath inside my apartment.

I miss sitting outside comfortably.

I want to be able to smell the outside air all year long without frozen nostrils. Is that too much to ask?

So it's been a few days but I was super busy with work.

It's snowing again but it's not super cold so it's totally doable. The doggy and I had a nice little time at the parking lot. She loves the snow and I love to watch her.

Went to the bulls game.

I'm so tired that I can't really say much.

I find that my desire to move has been waning a little bit this week. The weather hasn't been that cold and I haven't been working that much so I haven't HAD to go out there. I've been hanging out with friends a lot. Even when it's like this, I still find myself looking at apartments. I think I'm just nervous about being alone out there, about not having a job, not having money, not living walking distance from my friends (or anything for that matter). I have thought, on more than one occasion, that maybe I could do it Sept '10 and then I would be completely out of credit card debt and have a shit ton of money saved but then I feel like if I don't do it now I probably never will. I keep thinking that if a Google job opens up out there sometime this summer then it's meant to be. That's just stupid, meant to be. What is meant to be? Is anything meant to be? b'shert. I mean, does b'shert really exist? I just don't know.

I bought pk some mike ditka salsa. I really don't want to have to check my bag in order to bring it to him but I might have to. I would hate to get up to the security check point and have to leave it. I could send it, but that might take a while.

so this is the new year

and I don't feel any different...

It's cold again. I mean, it was always cold save for last Saturday during the day when it was 60. I'm ok with cold I guess. I have nothing to do tomorrow and can just sit in my apartment and read, or watch stupid tv or whatever. That's nice, I've been doing a lot of that lately.

Today one of my most faithful clients thought I was going to give him a topless massage. I do not give topless massages. Ever. Well, not to paying clients, I mean a significant other is a whole other deal...

I feel like I haven't been to Google in forever but really it's just been a little over a week. It's weird to have so much time off.

In three weeks I'll be in California.