It's cold inside

I never ever write here and I should. My decision isn't made and this was supposed to help, or chronicle or something. Well, I've failed.

I'm still at this crossroads and I don't know what to do. So far winter hasn't been so bad, but it's only mid December and I had foot surgery a month ago and have been trapped inside. It's cold in my apartment. If I lived in a warmer apartment I would probably feel pretty differently about life in the winter. If I stay here I could maybe buy something. If I go I have roommates.

I still miss Kevin oh so much. There is so much every day that I want to tell him and lately he's been in my dreams frequently. I don't wake up sad anymore but more frustrated. I hate that he's not here, that I can only hear his voice in my sleep. I hate it more than anything.

I'm going to be better with this from now on.