Who'd a thunk it

Three weeks ago I went hiking with my seemingly healthy six year old dog. Today, I have to give her five medications per day, feed her by hand, hold her upright for ten minutes after eating so her food will be pushed down her esophagus by gravity and put diapers on her two-three times per day. She's acting completely normal, which is so deceptive. You would never know that they've given her six months to live.

Tomorrow we go in for the second chemo treatment. It's a different drug than last week and will cost us possibly less than half of last week's treatment. She did well with the treatment but I still get nervous. I have nightmares every night, waking up several times to make sure she's ok or because my dream was so bad. My weight loss total is at about 8 pounds. I went to the doctor and got a prescription for anti-anxiety medication.

So, I'm a mess but Lola is happy and that's what matters right now. I want to make her as comfortable and loved. I mean, if this is the last half year of her life I'm going to make it an awesome one. She's my favorite thing ever and I don't know what I'll do if this treatment doesn't work, or actually only gives her six good months.

I can't imagine my life without her. We're coming up on the sixth anniversary of when Kevin and I drove to Indiana to get her and she changed our lives. She's been such a gift.