it's my birthday today. normally i get really excited about my birthday weeks in advance. i know exactly what i'll do, who i'll invite, what we'll do, multiple days-worth of birthday activities. this year, not so much. i wasn't even looking forward to it. i told several people that i wish it could just be next month when i'm more prepared for it.
i had a really nice weekend away from chicago, my apartment, my life. pk made sure that i ate a lot of really delicious food and laughed as often as possible, which i really appreciate. i would also appreciate if he didn't treat me like such a bro and go on and on about his girl problems, but that's really here nor there. here nor there, huh....not a phrase i use that often.
i realize that i'm not using capital letter in this. it's my motherfucking birthday and i'm totally allowed.
i was completely stuck in the burbank airport for about four hours, fearing that i might never make it home. daniel asked how long i would be in sfo so he could visit. when i told kristine she said that he's confusing and that pretty much sums it up. when i finally did land in chicago i started crying immediately, like as soon as the wheels hit the tarmac...tears.
i wish that wouldn't happen. i have so many really great memories here and there's no reason i should associate this whole city with kevin but i do. a lot of the things i do here, people i know here, are because of him. biking is one of my favorite things to do on earth and i would have never done that were it not for him. lola is my love and i wouldn't have her if it weren't for him. this apartment is home, a home we found together (although i actually found it and brought him here to took at it, we signed the lease together and made it home together).
i haven't cried today, well, almost when my mom called because my parents are being such dicks. they haven't even checked on me.
man, by the time i finished this....my birthday was over 3 minutes ago. wah-wah-wah
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